Recently I have spent a few hours on some of New Zealand’s domestic puddle jumpers. As I board the plane I am always reminded of “Fight Club” and “single serving friends”. About 3 years ago I had the joy of sitting next a 40-something businessman who was apparently doing quite well for himself. He was well dressed in a suit and within seconds of sitting down had introduced himself to me. His name escapes me now of course but that’s not the point of this post, we sat and chatted for the whole flight and he was genuinely interested in my studies and design work and told me about his flights around the world and adventures in foreign countries. His stories obviously dwarfed mine but it never felt like it was a competition. The flight landed in true bumpy tradition and our small Q300 rattled to a stop, we entered the terminal and went to our respective families saying nothing but sharing a mutual smile.
That was three years ago and my recent flights have not provided the same calibre of single serve friend, needless to say I am left with more than a few questions. I’m not sure whether it is the duration of the flight and that its easier for some people to sit in awkward silence for an hour trying not to make eye contact with the person next to you for fear of starting a conversation or that (and I hope its not) people just have no time for strangers…
Personally I can’t do it. I try to start a conversation… generic stuff like “Hey, how’s it going?”… “Have you had a good day?”… “What are your plans in destination ‘x’ (where ever the plane is going, I don’t actually refer to places as destination ‘x’)?”…. But nothing! People seem more interested in their magazine than interacting with other humans. At the risk of sounding like a cynic I just want to acknowledge that there could be some ‘Tyler Durden’ in the man from years back, in the sense that maybe my mind has perpetuated how cool he was to sit along with. But the fact remains that in my recent experience the best company I have had on any flight since then has been the hostess asking me for tea or coffee… at least that required an answer.
I want to put it down to the fact that the flights are so short that its easier for some people not to talk, or even that ‘Baby Boomers’ and the kids of ‘Generation X’ feel no connection to the youth of today. I’m even open to entertain the notion that people might think I have nothing to say. But that notwithstanding if a 21 year old can take the first step forward and open a dialog don’t I deserve more than a forced smile?
Maybe Ed Norton had it right… Should we all sit alone and invent our companions in Utopian solitude?
Alan said,
May 16, 2008 @ 2:29 am
Yep your dead right some humans are really wrapped up in them selves and probably think that other folk may have germs or worse they may just had a “Toungeoutofme”, this is where they have not long had there tongue surgically removed for what ever reason.
You can also be driving and if you give a friendly wave to every vehicle you pass I bet 1 out of 10 would give a half hated wave back, Why? because it’s pretty much the same reason as you write, people are busy in there own little ways and most of all it’s a bad attitude that some folk have in today’s society. So lets go to destination ‘X’ you never know it could be a beautiful sunny island with fast red cars and tanned air hostess and then we can forget about the weirdoes who can’t be bothered speaking to us humans who have savvy like yourself.